​The most beautiful lives often start with the most horrible & traumatic beginnings. Rock Bottom. That’s where mine began, in the trenches, in a place I could no longer see any light!

I had barely escaped an abusive relationship with my life. The abuse becomes so normal, it feels like a reality of peace isn’t real like there isn’t another side to life, one where you could be happy, one where you weren’t getting hurt by the person you love.

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Escaping a traumatic situation, experiencing physical violence, mental abuse, SA, is a funny thing because it comes with it this thought of ‘if I can just break free, if I can just get out I will be ok’. The part that gets you is, the physical component may be over but the mental component has just begun and that’s another whole demon!

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I never thought I would be in an abusive relationship, until I was, it is not something you aspire to as little girl, I wanted to be a vet, to save animals. I shamed myself for so long I thought perhaps I was stupid for allowing this but I have finally come to understand that breaking down someone weak isn’t fun. So don’t think of yourself as weak or an easy target or silly, don’t shame yourself, it is actually quite the opposite, you had something that made them jealous, they hated you for the qualities they so lacked and they wanted to break your spirit because of it.

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The longer you play into their sick games, the more changed you become, the more lost you feel. In the end I lost trying to win against a man like that playing into his sick games in order to survive. 1 year after I refused to comply, evading him as best I could living life being hunted & harassed online only after fleeing Australia. He couldn't get to me or so I thought. I returned to Australia for my sisters wedding and he finally caught up with me and held me against my will for 5 days. Being faced with your end is a surreal feeling, in the moments with his hands wrapped around my neck, gasping for any bit of air, I thought I was taking my last breaths, what flashed before my eyes was my mothers face, she saved me, I thought I can't go out like this I had to fight and I fought for my life, my hopes & dreams that I never got to follow flashed into my mind like a haunting scene of regret, all the silly things I thought were so important fell away, you realise what really matters when you are staring into your final moments.

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I was forced to flee Australia as it was no longer safe, I was being hunted. I have since become a refugee in Canada, 17,000kms away from everything & everyone I knew and loved, I left it all behind but I was safe. I was starting over at rock bottom at the age of 24, I got diagnosed with PTSD and I tried everything to get better, I rebuilt my life from the shards of my brokenness into something beautiful, I created a life I love.

 

The aftermath was brutal, I was left fighting for my life & myself after the person who supposedly loved me was the one who hurt me more than anybody ever had. I didn’t understand it and after years of trying to throughout the relationship, I was able to commit to leaving because I realized it wasn’t for me to understand, you can’t understand irrational behaviour with your rational mind, it will just never make sense and eventually you have to find peace in that. You can’t change what happened to you but it is your responsibility to heal.

 

The most powerful moment in your journey is when you decide you will no longer be a victim of what happened to you but a powerful survivor who is in charge of your life. If you remain a victim they will always have power over you, if you remain small, stay scared, stay silent they will always have power over you. You can take your power back and that is what we will do!

I escaped being another statistic, I rebuilt my life into a place I love and it became my mission to share what I know, so can you rebuild yours too. You won't stay broken even if right now it feels like you might. You have the ability to bounce back from adversity, to adapt and grow stronger in the face of challenges. Resilience is not about avoiding pain or pretending that everything is fine; instead, it is about embracing the pain, acknowledging it, and using it as a catalyst for personal growth. ​
 

My purpose & mission on this earth came to me after overcoming my darkest times. It was to be a light for other women. It was to survive and overcome as proof it can be done. It was to share what I know. It was to instill into their minds that they are enough, they are strong, smart and capable. They are not a victim anymore but the power creator of their lives.

 

I feel so privileged every day to be alive and to be pursuing my life’s work. Thank you for being here on this earth. Although you may find yourself in darkness. Please know there is a light in you that cannot be put out. It is always within you waiting to be tapped into. One so bright that when you tap into it, you will wonder how it ever went missing. You are brave. You are free. Your story is yours to define.

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Much Love,

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Cassandra Jo